Amon Has a Cold
by HydeandAis
Summary: Title is selfexplanatory. This is written by just Hyde, no Ais.
1. Default Chapter

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This is actually a Hyde fanfic, written by Hyde only, not Ais.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything even remotely WHR.

Hyde A/N: Just to mention, if you haven't read Amon and Laundry and you like this one you should because its this sort of style. If you have read Amon and Laundry, you might like this one. So, here goes…holds breath

Amon walked into the STN-J one morning feeling lousy. Of course, one can never tell by looking at him.

Not only was he feeling lousy, he was in a very bad mood. His famed Sullen Glares were extra prolific today.

He walked over to where Robin was sitting at a computer.

"Come on, Robin. cough We've got work to do."

"Just a moment."

"No, now," he said darkly, giving her a Sullen Glare That Causes Immediate and Complete Cooperation.

"Alright, I'm coming."

She followed him out to his car.

"So who are we hunting today?"

"Joseph hack cough Lee. Didn't you read the profile?"

"Well, I had a headache and I figured you would know what you're doing."

"Just read sneeze the profile next time."

"Are you feeling alright, Amon?"

"Yes." He gave her a Sullen Glare That Denies All Opposition.

They drove to Joseph Lee's house.

"You sneeze go around back and I'll snort sniff go to the front and see if he's home."

"Amon, are you…"

"Just go." He sent her off with a Sullen Glare That Lights A Fire Under Your Pants.

Amon approached the front door. He knocked sternly, bent over double with wracking coughs, and straightened up just in time as the door opened and a tall dark-haired man peered out.

"You're…"Amon started, then, " …pardon…"

"Excuse me?" Joseph Lee said.

"Ah…ah…ah…"

"Sir, are you…"

"CHOO!" Amon sneezed violently. Mr. Lee stepped back, looking at Amon in disgust.

"You should take something for that…"

"…coming with me, mister." Amon finished his sentence and shot Mr. Lee with his Orbo gun before he even had a chance to defend himself.

As the Factory took Mr. Lee away, Robin approached Amon accusatorily.

"I heard that sneeze," she said.

Amon merely gave her a Sullen Glare That Quells All Words You Might Be Tempted To Say and strode back to his car. Robin followed.

When they had both climbed in the car and shut their doors, Robin handed him something.

He looked at her with a question in his eyes, before his penetrating gaze was interrupted by a 'cough…cough, cough…choke…wheeze.'

"Cough syrup."

He glared his Sullen Glare Guaranteed to Fry Your Hair Off If You Are Giving Someone Cough Syrup.

"I don't…" There his voice died out. He cleared his throat and tried again, but all that came out was a growly squeak.

"Take it, Amon."

"cough…no…"

"I won't tell anyone, if that's what you're thinking."

So, feeling cornered, Amon took a swig.

"Ahk, plekk, gahkkk, ptoo, ughkkk!" He opened his car door and ran for the nearest water fountain.

When he returned, he tried once again to talk. This time nothing came out but air. And then a cough. He glared at her.

"Well, you can't expect it to work instantly."

They drove back to the STN-J in silence, Amon because his voice still wasn't working and Robin because she didn't feel like talking.

When they arrived, Sakaki and Michael were having a very interesting conversation.

"It goes like this," Sakaki was saying. "Cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater, and…"

"No," Michael interrupted, "It's cheater, cheater, picked a peck of pickled peppers."

"Alright," said Sakaki, "Then it goes, And everywhere that Mary went, the pig was sure to go."

"No, it was a cow!" Michael countered.

"It was a pig!"

"Cow!"

"Pig!"

"Are you guys arguing about nursery rhymes?" Robin interrupted them.

"No," retorted Sakaki, "We're discussing them and trying to remember them."

"Whatever."

Amon felt that this was a little too much for him, so he turned right around and went to Harry's. On the way, he tried his voice again. All he got was an embarrassing squeak and a choke-cough. He ducked behind a tree, surreptitiously pulled the cough syrup out of the depths of his coat, and took a swig.

A man walking randomly down the sidewalk was rather perturbed to hear the tree next to him begin making noises like, "Cough, sputter, choke, gag, choke, cough, gasp, pleh, ugh…" He ran away _very_ quickly.

Once he had himself under control, Amon strolled out from behind the tree (if you can call any walk of Amon's a stroll) and went along toward Harry's as though he had just happened to pass behind the tree on his way to somewhere.

When he went in the door, he saw his girlfriend Touko sitting at the counter drinking a Mocha Latte. She saw him at the same time.

"Hi, Amon," she said. "What brings you here?"

He merely grunted in an Amon-like way.

"…beer…" he croaked as un-croakily as he could.

"Amon, are you alright?" Touko asked.

He grunted.

"Come on, Amon, talk to me."

He grunted.

"Are you mad at me?"

He grunted a negative.

"Is it those people at the STN-J?"

Now Amon was in a predicament. He really didn't want to grunt any more, even though it was simultaneous with his dark nature. But he certainly wasn't going to voice anything unless he had to. And he didn't want to make Touko mad.

Before he decided what to do, the situation resolved itself. "It's okay, Amon, I have bad days too," Touko said, and shifted herself closer to him.

They sat in silence, and Amon found his thoughts wandering perpetually toward cough syrup. He wondered when this poison was going to work. Then he thought about Robin. Nice girl, he had thought, until today. What was she thinking, giving him cough syrup? As if he wasn't entirely self-sufficient. Then, he realized that he wasn't really that mad at her. She was difficult to be mad at, at the same time as she was irritating in her calmness.

"Well," Touko said finally, "I guess I better go. I'm on break. See you tonight, about seven?"

He nodded.

"Bye," she called over her shoulder as she walked out.

As soon as she was out the door, Amon tried his voice.

"Or...grughh…bo. Or..ghh...bo. Or..uhg..bo. Orghhhhbo. Orbo." He finally got it. Feeling much better about himself (we can't say he's happy, of course), he went back to the

STN-J, where he sat at a computer and poured over witch files all that afternoon.

Well, there you are. Please review! I'd love to know what you all think of this. Ais, if you're reading this, you can review even though you've already read it.

Happy days,

Hyde


	2. In which Amon goes on a date of mishap

Disclaimer: I do not own anything even remotely WHR.

Hyde A/N: I hope you all like this. I have fun writing it. I send myself into laughing fits. It's awesome. Thank you to anyone who reviewed.

Amon looked up at the clock. Four-thirty. Enough time to go home and get some rest before his date.

Amon drove his awesome black car over to his apartment and searched the medicine cupboard. The only thing he found that looked even remotely helpful was Benadryl. He took two, then three for good measure. He then lay down on his couch and thought about Robin.

Robin was standing there with her glasses on. He saw the light of fire in her eyes.

"No!" he cried, but it was too late. His precious car went up in flames.

She turned to him. "No, wait, don't!" he said, but she didn't stop. In a moment, his macho black coat was in flames around him. He looked around for his Orbo gun. There, on the floor. He grabbed it, aimed through the flames, tightened his gun on the trigger…

Bang!

Amon sat up. His Orbo gun was in his hand. There was a smoking hole in his sink. It was 6:45.

Amon moved with lightning speed. He slung on his coat, grabbed his car keys, and was out the door in five minutes. Speeding down the freeway, he pulled up to Touko and Robin's apartment just in time.

As he parked the car, he tried to mutter to himself. Nothing came out. He tried to talk deeply and darkly to his dashboard. Nothing. He tried to give his radio a Sullen Glare That Causes All Electronic Equipment to Malfunction. Whew, that still worked.

First glancing around to see if Touko had come out yet, Amon reached into the depths of his coat and pulled out the Benadryl. He took two, and washed them down with some cough syrup. Just as he was about to sputter and gleck about the taste again, Touko came out, forcing him to ignore the horrible taste in his mouth. It did give him a slightly sour look, but Touko didn't notice, as that was his usual facial expression.

"Hi, Amon."

" grunt "

"Has your day improved?"

He nodded, then started the car and drove them to a nice restaurant called Koko's. Amon always wondered why such a nice restaurant was called Koko's.

When they got in there, the waiter showed them to their table and asked what they would like to drink. Amon gestured for Touko to go first. She ordered a martini. Amon wasn't much on martinis, but being unable to talk, he just sort of mutter/growl/whispered, "Same."

"I though you didn't like martinis," Touko commented.

Amon shrugged.

They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes.

"I need to visit the powder room," Touko said then. "Be back in a minute."

Amon nodded. As he saw her back turn the corner, he suddenly felt uncharacteristically drowsy. He gave himself a Sullen Glare Intended to Wake All Sleepers (which is a very difficult thing to do, giving yourself a glare). It didn't work very well.

You see, Amon should have read the box. It says that drowsiness may be one of the side effects of Benadryl.

Amon felt his head drifting toward the table. Luckily, the waiter came just then with the martinis. After the waiter left, Amon drifted again. Then, he remembered nothing.

Amon…Amon…

Just a minute, mom….

Amon, dear,…Amon? What…

Just a minute…

Amon, wake up…

Amon slowly came to. He realized through a haze that Touko was calling his name, not his mother. He didn't open his eyes, yet he felt that the side of his head was wet. Slowly, he forced his eyes open to answer Touko's beckoning.

Fuzzily, he saw Touko standing next to him.

"Amon, are you awake?"

He moaned. "Whater…doon…her…iss…tie…nighh…"

"What?"

He sat slowly upright. He looked around. He was inwardly horrified.

An overturned martini glass was sitting on his side of the table, and the tablecloth was wet. So, he realized, was the side of his face. And his wonderful hair. Touko looked worried.

"Amon, are you alright?"

He stood, stumbled towards the door. He thought it was the door. When he pushed into it, he realized it was the restroom. Luckily, the men's restroom. He turned around and stumbled back out, and headed for the real door. He tried to open it by pushing his body against it, but all he got was a bruised nose. Confused, he stared at the unmoving door in a state of incomprehension.

"Pull," someone next to him said. He did, and the door opened. He went through, and stumbled towards his car.

He missed, and careened into the bushes.

The next minute, Touko came flying out the door after him. But, since he was in the bushes, she didn't see him. She ran on down the street, searching for him. In his Benadryl-induced stupor, he tried to call out to her, but neither his voice nor his mouth would cooperate. He slipped into sleep again.

First Touko flitted about his face, then Robin. She was wearing her glasses. She went up in flames. He tried to run to her, save her, but to no avail.

Then, he was surrounded by witches. He shot them all with his Orbo gun, but more kept coming. 'Robin, help!' he yelled. Where was she? 'Robin! I need you! Where are you?' Suddenly, he felt flames devouring him. 'No, not me, the witches…

Amon sat up. He wasn't sure where he was. All he saw was green. The lighting was dim. He decided it wasn't worth the energy expenditure to find out. He rolled over and lay on his side. Suddenly, he heard footsteps. With the ease of reflex, he pulled his Orbo gun out of his coat and lay very still. When the footsteps neared, he popped up, Orbo gun ready for action.

A very startled man nearly jumped out of his skin. _Man,_ he though, _I should go home and take something. Talking trees, dark men with strange deadly guns lurking in the bushes._ He ran as fast as he could away from Amon and his intimidating gun.

Amon got his bearings. He seemed to be at Koko's. Why…? Oh, yes, he and Touko had a date. But why was he in the bushes? And where was Touko? What time was it?

He looked at his watch. Nine fifty-three. He moaned. His throat hurt. His head hurt. His back hurt. He went for Robin's cough syrup. Then, he went sputtering toward his car, still parked in the parking lot.

**Well, there you are. **

**Cali: **I sorta like writing Amon and Touko because I can make her kinda goofy. I don't like her that much either. I am totally AmonxRobin. Oh, and as you can tell, I am continuing it.

**Please review!**

**Hyde**


	3. In which Amon goes to the doctor

Disclaimer: I do not own anything even remotely WHR.

Hyde A/N: Thank you to all you reviewers! I'm happy now.

There is actually absolute silence around me as I'm writing this. Amazing. Probably because my little sister is gone to Louisville for the day. That reminds me, I have to make some brownies. What time is it? Oh, I have enough time. Wait, that clock is off. Oh well.

Anyway, now to the story.

"Amon?" A nurse garbed in white called his name. "The doctor will see you now."

Amon got up and followed the nurse to a room where the doctor waited.

"Hello, sir, what seems to be the problem today?"

"I…ah-choo!…have been sick…ah-choo!…and very tired. Ah-choo!"

"Well, the tiredness could just be normal effects from what seems to be a common cold. What kind of tiredness?"

"I fell asleep…ah-choo!…at a nice restaurant while my girlfriend…ah-choo!…was in the powder room. When she woke me up I…ah-choo!…was so tired I apparently…ah-choo!…fell in the bushes."

"Hmm. Have you taken anything for this cold?"

"Cough syrup and…ah…ah…ah…choo!…Benadryl. sniff "

"Well, I can't be for certain, but I bet it was the Benadryl. You should have read the packaging; you would have seen that a side effect of Benadryl is drowsiness."

Amon shot him a Sullen Glare That Chokes All Who Reprimand A Self-Sufficient Person. Which was inconveniently interrupted by another sneeze.

"Did you take more than the recommended dosage?"

Amon shrugged darkly, a feat that only Amon can accomplish without giving a Sullen Glare.

"I took three."

"Only once?"

"Twice."

"In one day?"

"In one evening. snort "

"That would be why you're so tired. Between the overdose and the side effects…"

Amon whipped out his Orbo gun. "Are you…snort…insulting me?"

"N-no. Not at all. Just informing you…"

Amon shook the gun in his face. The doctor got up out of his chair and backed up against the wall. "You madman…what…don't shoot me…"

Amon snorted again, and shook his head, giving a horse-like effect.

"Wait…are you…why are you stalking me? Get away!"

Amon looked darkly puzzled.

"It _was_ you…in the bushes…you madman…Nurse! Nurse! Security!"

Amon growled. "Shut up, or I'll pump you so full of Orbo…"

"Orbo?"

Amon suddenly felt a sneeze coming on. "Ah…ah…ah…" His eyes squinted and he ducked his head. The doctor ran for the door.

"Choo!" Amon finished sneezing and pumped a bullet into the wall next to the door that the doctor had just exited. He growled and gave the door a Sullen Glare That Burns In a Robin-like Way All Doors That Do Not Impede Insulting Doctors. Then he realized that he would be put in jail if he didn't get out of there fast, and he didn't want to explain all this to Zaizen. He dashed out the door and made for the back exit, pushing around squealing and screaming nurses all the way. He gave them all Sullen Glares Reserved For Squealing And Screaming Nurses Who Work For Insulting Doctors And Are Invariably In The Way.

"Mutter mutter mutter…ah-choo!…mutter mutter MUTTER mutter…" Amon walked down the street, wondering where to go and what to do. He supposed he should go find Touko. She was probably either worried or insulted or both. But how to explain without mentioning that he had been taking medicine? He wandered along, first down one street, then another. Suddenly he remembered something. His car was still at the doctor's office. Great. How was he going to get it without getting arrested?

Well, he thought, I'll have to call someone for…no…can't say it…h…he…h…he…lp…

hel…p…help. Who? Karasuma? No, don't trust her not to laugh. Michael? No. Sakaki? Not even a consideration. Doujima? No, don't trust her not to tell.

Suddenly, a thought came to his mind. Robin. She already knows about the cold. She won't tell. She probably won't laugh. Not in my experience. It's my only chance until nightfall. I can't go to Touko's and not have a ride home.

He walked back to the STN-J as quickly as he could, dishing out prolific Sullen Glares That Cause Anyone In The Path To Step Aside.

"Robin. cough I need to talk to you privately."

"Alright, I'm coming."

He beckoned her outside the door.

"I need you to go to this address and pick up my car for me."

"Why can't you do it? Secret mission?"

"No. I…ah-choo!…left it there and I'll be arrested if I go there myself. sniff "

"Oh. Am I allowed to ask why?"

"No. Here are the keys."

"Okay. I'll be back."

Robin walked to the address with all possible haste. Amon had looked very impatient. And very dark and broody. But that was the way he always looked.

As she rounded the corner, she inspected it. A doctor's office? Maybe for his cold. But why would he be arrested?

She climbed into the car. Just as she was about to start the engine, she saw a policeman over near the office. He first thought was, uh oh, I'm only fifteen! Then, she saw her chance to ask about Amon.

She opened the door, walked a little farther down the street, and came back up, acting as though she was looking for something.

"Excuse me, sir, have you seen a dark-haired man in a dark coat with a dark glare go past here recently?"

"No, young lady, have you seen him? We're looking for a man of that description."

"Well, I, he dropped something back there," she gestured vaguely behind her. "I was looking for him to give it to him; he came this way."

"Well, if you see him, call the police. He's reported to have been stalking a doctor in this facility, and he's reportedly armed, and considered dangerous."

"Yes sir, thank you for tell…uh…warning me. Goodbye."

As Robin walked back down the road, she concealed a smile behind her hand. She had no doubt that the accusation was unfounded. Amon wasn't the type to stalk a doctor, she didn't think, unless that doctor were a witch, and if so, he would have been disposed of by now.

Circling around, she came down the street the other way and slipped into the car without letting the police officer see her.

When she got back and handed the keys to Amon (who was pacing in front of the building), he gave her a Sullen Glare Reserved For Slow Car Retrievers and said, "Couldn't you have gone any faster?"

She didn't answer, but said, "You weren't really stalking that guy, were you?"

He glared at her. "Who told you?"

"A police officer."

He glared again, even more darkly. "Stay out of my business."

"You didn't stalk him?" she asked as he walked to his car.

"No." He felt extremely sullen, which is pretty bad because with Amon, his normal is what we would call extremely sullen.

He climbed in his car and started the macho engine. Then, Robin was completely forgotten when he remembered where he was going. Touko's.

Thank you to the few of you who are actually reading this! I'm nothing compared to Ais, I'm mostly the creative inspiration, but its fun writing my own fic.

Ais, if you are reading this which I assume you are, we need to start thinking about what to do after Amon and Laundry finally terminates. Whatever it is, it should be about Amon, he's so fun to write,

Are any of you all Star Trek fans? I am, at least the original. Star Trek The Original Series ROCKS!

Hyde


	4. In which Amon sees Touko and invents som...

Disclaimer: I own nothing even remotely WHR

Hyde A/N: Hey there. Another chapter. With a lot of Touko, for those of you who would care. Thanx to those of you who have been reading this and reviewing. I feel so special.

Anyone who hasn't, should read Amon and Laundry by Aisling Niamh. It's a good one. It's been getting kinda vague in direction though lately (looks pointedly at Ais).

Okay, here goes.

Amon pulled his car up to the apartment and sat, thinking about what to say. He ran through some ideas in his head.

"Touko, I'm sorry I fell asleep…" No, too direct.

"Touko, I apologize for last night. It was the medicine…" No, can't mention the medicine.

"Touko, I'm sorry about last night. There is an explanation, but I can't divulge it…" No, got to give a reason.

"Touko, I'm sorry. I didn't get any sleep the last few nights…" Hmm. Not bad.

He looked at his watch. If he waited too long, he'd never do it.

He walked up to the door and knocked. And coughed.

Touko opened the door. Or was it Touko? It looked like the witch from Hansel and Gretel. Who hadn't slept in five years.

"Touko?"

"Amon!" She looked about to cry. "Go away. Leave me in my misery."

"Touko, I'm sorry."

"No, you are worse than sorry. I had to suffer the embarrassment of a date who seemed drunk, AND I had to walk ALL the WAY HOME! In my heels! You are PATHETIC, you drunken slob!"

"But, I wasn't…"

"Oh no, you just had one or two. Just one or two. That you remember! After that, 'it was all a blur'! Oh…

"But Touko, I didn't even have one…"

"Oh yeah, that's what you'd like me to believe. Where have you been, over with that Robin girl?"

"She lives here."

"Oh. Yeah. I was so caught up in my misery…but never mind. You've been somewhere you shouldn't have, I know it. Where'd you spend the night?"

"In my car."

"You spent the whole night in your car?"

"I was so drugged…I mean, tired, that I slept the whole time. I don't recall it in that much detail."

"Drugged? Are you taking…something…I don't know about?"

"No, no, nothing like that. Look, Touko, I…"

"No, you look. You have made my life miserable! I thought we were in touch, you know? We were so happy, it was so good. You ruined it, you miserable excuse for a human being! You…" Suddenly, Touko broke down sobbing violently.

She seemed completely unaware when Amon picked her up and carted her effortlessly into the apartment. He dumped her on the couch, where she fell into an exhausted sleep. As he left, Amon taped a note on the door for Robin. (He would have just said something to her, but it seemed more professional to leave a note.)

Robin,

Touko is emotionally unstable and very upset. If she is sleeping DO NOT WAKE HER UP! You…cough…will regret it.

Amon refrained from signing it to appease his mysterious side. (**Hyde A/N: Not like she wouldn't figure out from the 'cough' he stuck in there.**)

On the way out to his car, Amon saw a cat. He stared at it sullenly in a way that made the cat think it was the most boring and unworthy creature on the planet.

Eureka!

He discovered the Sullen Stare!

Now this, he liked. People were not immune to Sullen Stares. Too bad stares didn't have the range of effects that glares did.

(Hyde A/N: Ah, the Sullen Stare. A sudden inspiration of mine. I have fun with it. Hee hee.)

On the way back to the STN-J, Amon got stuck in traffic. He soon became unstuck, throwing left and right Sullen Stares That Cause All Car Drivers To Move Over Immediately Because They Are Impeding A Hunter.

Back at the STN-J, he was informed upon walking in the door that everyone was closing up shop and heading home for the night. He threw around some Sullen Stares That Cause Immediate And Unquenchable Remorse In All Who Waste Others' Time. Even Robin was slightly effected, and she had had the highest level of immunity at first encounter with the Sullen Glares.

Walking out the door next to Robin, Amon couldn't resist. "Robin!" he whispered.

"What?"

"Expect correspondence when you return home. Take heed of it."

Robin looked at Amon as though he was a particularly slimy species of beetle.

Agh! He thought. The 'You Are Slimy Like A Disgusting Beetle' Look Of Death! Second only to fire! He turned away, resisting the urge to indulge in Self-Disgust and then, when he had himself under control, he countered it with a Sullen Stare That Causes One To Feel Instant And Overpowering Remorse For Thinking People To Be Slimy Beetles.

Robin gave a slight flinch. Then she turned away to her Vespa and Amon to his macho black car.

Well, I hope you liked it. Review even if you didn't. I will take any objective advice.

Star Trek the Original Series KICKS BUTT! (Unfortunately, I haven't found any good Star Trek fics…)

Hyde


	5. In which we get to hear about Robin

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Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing even remotely involving WHR

Hyde A/N: Hello again. Oh, before I forget, for those of you who are wondering, the difference between a Sullen Stare and a Sullen Glare is that a Sullen Glare generally has more hatred in it, more expression on the face, while a Sullen Stare is more of the type that causes great remorse in whomever it is directed to. You know, basically the difference between a stare and a glare.

Smeagol: Smeagol likesssss to glaressss!

Hyde: AHHHHHH! Smeagol! Out! Now! Go! Immediately!

Smeagol: But we wantsss to hear about Robinssssssss!

Hyde: Not in my fic you don't.

Smeagol: But Aisssssssssss won't letsss usssss in! We likesssssss thisss fic!

Hyde: LEAVE!!!!!!!!

Smeagol: Fine! Sssmeagol goessssss! But we rememberssssssss! We rememberssss thisssssss! walks away muttering Nobody wantssssss usss, Precioussssss…Nobodysssss…

Um, Trekgirl, is Deep Space Nine the one with Scott Bacula? No, never mind, that's Voyager, or something to that effect. Scott Bacula's the guy off Quantum Leap. That's from like the 80s or 90s. Pretty good show. I like all the old shows. Hardly anything decent on anymore. WHR excluded of course.

Okay, back to the point.

Robin walked up to the door and examined the note that Amon had left. She rolled her eyes, tore it off, and sneaked inside. Touko was still out on the couch.

Robin took an evening bath. She came out feeling refreshed. Good thing, because Touko was alive.

"Uhhhhhh…."

"Touko?"

"Where's that beep!"

Robin shrugged.

"I'm gunna beep beep that beeeeeep!"

"Touko…"

"I d_espise_ him. He ran away. Just like him. Ran away."

"Touko…"

"Of course, I seem to have collapsed, but that's no beep excuse…"

"Touko…"

"That beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep beep beeeeep!" **(Hyde A/N: I'm getting kinda tired of the asterisk key, but I'd rather keep this G-rated.)**

"Um, could I…"

Touko suddenly whirled on Robin. "Could you _what?_"

"Could I have some quiet, please? I'm going to bed."

"You can have plenty of quiet, because I'm gunna go get that beep out of his filthy bed and…" She stalked towards the door.

"Um, Touko, I wouldn't do that."

"_Why?_"

"You're wearing your pajamas."

Touko looked down at her lacy pink pajamas and stalked toward her bedroom. A minute later she emerged in a tight red T-shirt and tight jeans.

"Touko?"

"What?"

"How do you get that stuff on so quickly?"

Touko snorted and headed for the door.

"No, wait…" Robin grabbed Touko's arm. Touko just kept going, dragging Robin along behind her. Out the door, to her car…

Then, Robin got a second wind. She gave Touko's arm a huge yank, toppling her over backwards on the ground. Touko scrambled for her car.

"No!" Robin cried, and sent the car up in a burst of flame.

"Fine, I'll walk." Touko set off down the sidewalk.

"Wait!"

Suddenly, a welcome intrusion occurred.

"Hello, miss. I'm Taco Joe. You look like you need enchilada."

Touko stared blankly at the wizened old Mexican man on the sidewalk in front of her. He handed her a foil-wrapped cylinder.

"There you go. Also burrito, chimichanga, **(Hyde A/N: Did I spell chimichanga right? It doesn't look right. I hate spelling Mexican. ) **taco, quesidilla…" Many more foil-wrapped objects were thrust into Touko's arms. "That be forty-seven American dollars."

"_What_?" Touko finally spoke. "Why so beep much?"

"Mexican food. Nowhere else in Japan. Very good, very rare, very cheap."

"Cheap? You call that cheap?"

On that note, Robin fled, leaving Touko to haggle with Taco Joe. This was her golden opportunity to warn Amon of Touko's inevitable descending wrath.

Breathless, she collapsed against the door of Amon's apartment. Pounding on it, she cried, "Amon! Amon! It's Robin! Let me in!"

He opened the door and stared at her darkly. Of course.

"Amon! Touko's coming! She's really mad."

"And?"

"So you better do something!"

"What?"

"I don't know. Amon, listen, she's really mad. Really mad. Ever since she woke up, everything she says is riddled with beeps."

"Beeps?"

Robin nodded.

"Touko?"

"Yes, Amon, come on! She's probably done with Taco Joe by now."

"Taco Joe?"

"Don't ask."

Amon still couldn't seem to believe it. "Touko?"

"Yes."

"She's coming here?"

"Yes."

"Let's go."

Amon grabbed his orbo gun and was out the door in a flash. He ran for his car, but Robin headed the other way down the sidewalk.

"Robin! Where are you going?"

"Home."

"But…"

"I need some sleep."

Amon looked about to say something, but the urgency of the Touko Situation won out. He jumped into his car and sped away.

****

Ha. I leave Amon in Dire Straits.

Amon: Mutter mutter not fair mutter mutter…

I'm glad you all like this. weeps tears of joy Please review even if you hate it. If you do not review, I will sic Smeagol on you. If you tell me that you are RobinxMichael I will sic my toe-licking cat on you. (No kidding. I have a cat that will lick your toes. He's weird. I even have a picture of it to prove it.)

If anyone knows how many different Star Trek serieses there are, tell me because I just want to know for some reason. I know there's at least…four or five.

Hyde


	6. In which Amon encounters Touko dramatic ...

****

Disclaimer: I own nothing. If you sue me, I have little to give you. It's not worth your effort.

Hyde A/N: Sheesh people, chill out about Taco Joe and Mexican. I was referring to Mexican _food_ not Mexican language or whatever. Besides, its sposed to be funny. FUNNY. Thank you Trekgirl.

Well, here goes.

SCREEEEEEECH!

"There you are! You little…"

Touko was interrupted by Amon, who dragged her into his car before she could make a public scene (Amon wasn't the public scene kind of guy; people could find out about public scenes).

"What are you doing? I hate you! You're always…" She broke off, having yelled herself into a corner.

"Always what?" he asked, then regretted it.

"Always making my LIFE _miserable_! Because of YOU, I had to pay 33.95 for a bunch of Mexican food I didn't want!"

Amon raised his eyebrows, but followed Robin's advice and didn't ask.

"You are pathetic!"

"Touko, I'm sorry. ItwasallmyfaultInevershouldadoneanythingtoupsetyouIwaswrong." Amon muttered, all in one breath.

"Was that…an apology? Did you just say you were wrong?"

Amon gave her a Sullen Stare That Causes Immediate Remorse In All Girlfriends Who Ask Their Boyfriends To Confirm An Apology. She flinched.

"I'm sorry, Amon. I know how hard that was for you."

"Can we get off the subject?"

"Of course, Amon. I'm sorry for being so upset with you. How about we go to Harry's?"

"Fine."

In the drama of the moment, Amon had not realized that he hadn't coughed for the past hour. Now he realized it, and it jinxed him.

"Cough…hack…grnnnk…ah-choo!…sniff…"

"Amon! Are you okay?"

"Fine." He growled. But now that Touko adored him again, nothing could induce her to be mad at him again and she just smiled happily.

When they pulled into Harry's, Amon told Touko to go ahead in; he had to check something. She did, smiling back at him. Once she disappeared inside, he reached into his coat pocket and pulled out the bottle of cough syrup. Empty.

He growled, and pushed a button on the dashboard of his macho black Audi. Up came a mini incinerator, into which he angrily tossed the empty bottle.

He went inside.

"Touko…sniff…I got a call. I'll be back in about half an hour. You can wait here or drive the…cough…car around." He tossed her the keys.

"Don't you need the car?"

"Its close enough. I'll walk."

He strode down the sidewalk, muffling another cough in his coat sleeve.

Robin's sleep was interrupted by a loud knock on the door. Moaning, she pulled the first item of clothing within reach over her head and stumbled to the door.

"Robin. I need more cough syrup."

She blinked at him.

"Cough syrup. Where can I get it?"

She shook her head, attempting to clear the sleep from her mind. "Ah…grocery store, probably."

"Right. Bye." He closed the door behind himself. Robin blinked. Then the door opened again.

"Nearest grocery store?"

"Two blocks down, right one block. Wh…have you finished the other stuff already?"

"Yes."

"That's…never mind."

"What?" He gave her a Sullen Glare That Punishes In Subtle Ways All Who Question The Cough Syrup-Taking Methods Of Darkly Dressed Individuals.

Robin shut the door in his face. Then locked it.

"I'm sorry sir, this particular brand requires a special ID which you do not have," a clerk was saying.

Amon gave him a Sullen Glare That Is Intended To Turn All Clerks Into Bugs Who Refuse To Sell Cough Syrup To Desperate Persons.

"An ID to buy cough syrup! That's…ah-choo!…ridiculous!"

"I'm sorry sir. Try this cheap brand with nothing in it that requires an ID."

"Does it…ah…ah…ah…choo!…work?"

"No."

Amon growled. "Just give me the beep[this part omitted for the purpose of keeping this thing G-rated] or I'll [this part also omitted for the same reason]!"

The clerk flushed twelve different shades of red and sixteen different shades of white. He then handed Amon the potent Cough Syrup That Requires An ID without further protest.

Amon stepped outside and took a swig. If possible, it was even worse than the Robin Cough Syrup. Besides that, it caused some old lady to think he was having dangerous convulsions and whack him with an umbrella (the pink one she always carried for just such emergencies).

Feeling bruised and mistreated, Amon headed back toward Harry's as fast as he could limp. When he arrived, Touko immediately noticed the limp.

"Amon! What happened?"

"I don't want to talk about…cough…it."

"It's alright. Have a cappacino." A man behind the counter handed him one. He gave him a Sullen Glare That Reprimands Those Who Dare To Hand A Cappacino To One Who Has Been Beaten With An Umbrella.

"Beer…" he croaked.

"Amon! You shouldn't drink a beer this time of night!"

"How about we both just go home? It's late. I have work tomorrow."

Touko was extremely miffed. "If you hadn't taken that call…"

"I'm sorry, Touko," he said, deeply and darkly. "It's my job."

"I know," she pouted as they walked back to his car. "I just wish we could spend more time together."

Amon lay down in his bed and stared at the ceiling. Surprisingly, his thoughts turned not toward Touko, but toward Robin, sleep-disheveled, opening the door, and cough syrup. He took another swig, and coughed and choked himself to sleep.

****

There. It is finished. Yes, this is the end. weep But I shall make another fanfic, promise. I already have another idea.

Review please. I shall bring you many salami and baloney(bologna) sandwiches! Salami! Salami! Bologna!

Hyde and Ais: WHAhahahahahaha! Heeheehee!

Everyone else: Blank stares

Inside joke. Only those who have had Mr. Like's seventh grade science class at some point in their lives shall understand.

Farewell, all!

Hyde


End file.
